Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Barsexuality is the new black.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize