there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
