sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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