loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize