she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
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