finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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