i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
