This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
