He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
