At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize