you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
