was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
