Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
