ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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