that's an acceptable place to lick
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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