hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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