I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
