the day after is always just damage control
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
whose parrot is this?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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