Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
