Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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