i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
