she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
