Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
