I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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