I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
