she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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