I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
