the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
