Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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