I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
