i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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