Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
