he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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