So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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