I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
