i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.