Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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