is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
