No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
