you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
birth control should be required to get into college
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
