plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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