weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize