I seem to have left my pride at pride
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
