i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
