grandma shit on top of the toilet
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
