Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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