I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
