he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
