is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
