Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
