oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
