My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
