Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
