My sheets look like a crime scene.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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