Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
