I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
