hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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