I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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