i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
