I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wish my penis had a tongue
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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