Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
